Pet cactus. Not that it is a cactus, it’s actually a
succulent but pet succulent just
sounds, irrelevant. It’s also not really
a pet either, I mean it’s a plant and I don’t even look after it. Maybe once a
month I’ll remember that I actually own it.
And I only have one story about this pet cactus, maybe two.
When my pet cactus and I moved in with my friend last year,
she suddenly started laughing one evening, asking what the hell that noise was. I didn’t at first realise that she was referring
to this spray bottle I was holding in my hand - I was feeding my pet cactus. This is how this succulent is still living
even though all the others have died, sprayed drops of water. Either my pet cactus is confused, because I
keep calling him a cactus even though he’s clearly a succulent, or he’s just
born weird, but it doesn’t really grow in breadth (horizontally?). Honestly, I
don’t even know how to explain what’s wrong with this thing, or even if it’s
supposed to grow in this way, but it merely keeps getting taller. So much, that my mother told me to cut it in
half otherwise it would die. I couldn’t cut my pet cactus like some kind of
gangster. In the end though, I was
forced to view my mother having no mercy on the plant. The gutted piece was pushed back into the
ground – and it actually grew! I don’t know much about plants but I really didn’t
think it would be that easy. Technically
the plant morphed into two. How do you
like the idea of that?
So now I sit with the problem of what to call it. Technically it should be call pet cacti, but then again it’s not cacti
and it started out as one. I’m confused.
The point of this post: don’t trust succulents. They either trick you into believing their
really cacti, or they morph into multiple succulent that will kill you in your
sleep. Because what else would you do
with the power of morphing?
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